SURREY DARTS

by Martin Cullip 

As appearing in the May Issue of Dart World

A New Era? … or Once Ditton, Twice Shy?

Although darts has had its share of surprises, Deller in 1983 perhaps, or Tony David beating odds of 100/1 to become Embassy Champ (to the delight of many of Surrey’s players who were ‘on’ the bet!), one usually has a fair idea of who will be in the mix for Titles before they are staged.

Barneveld & Taylor are already short odds favourites for the two World Crowns & it would take a brave man to back against either of them, even at this early stage, their domination is such that it will take an incredibly spirited challenge from another competitor, or a nasty off day from the respective No 1’s, for the Championship to go elsewhere.

Further down the scale, the strength in depth of Yorkshire means that they will almost certainly be there or thereabouts at the end of the Inter-County season, and each respective County has a team that carries all before it in their Super Leagues.

Surrey’s ‘Untouchables’ have normally been whatever group of lads that Tim Stedman assembles as they have taken Super League Titles with metronomic consistency … a bit like Manchester United but with more success! And just like Alex Ferguson’s Red Devils, no-one would have believed that, at the start of the campaign, Tim’s Walton Snooker side would be languishing in THIRD place come the end of the season!

However, that is how our Premier League ended, with a first ever Championship for the ‘New Kids on the Block’, Ditton FC, who, after placing 4th & 3rd in their first two attempts, managed to leapfrog both Walton Snooker AND Croydon’s Golden Lion this year to take the Title with quite impressive ease.

The end of season issue of ‘Toe The Oche’, the League’s weekly newsletter (which can be viewed at www.toe-the-oche.co.uk), contained little trumpeting of Ditton’s success, which was roundly criticised by the Ditton entourage, but it is to the team’s immense credit that there really were NO more headlines to write by that stage as they had effectively landed the League a full five weeks earlier!

Ditton’s crushing 8-4 defeat of Stedman’s side in their own back yard in late February was stunning in its ruthlessness, especially as Walton displayed some incredible darts that night, only to be bettered at every step by the Champions-elect. All Stedman could say that night was a warm & generous “You played like Champions” and he was proved correct as the League was eventually won by an impressive 5 points (& huge leg difference too) over the Golden Lion in Runners-Up spot, and a massive 18 points over Walton!

Strangely, the last time that Walton let the Title slip from their hands was in 1994/95, the year Blackburn pinched the Premiership from Man Utd (could Tim & Alex be sharing coaching tips?)

The big question now is whether this is the dawn of a new era of dominance for Ditton, or was it just a year in which they got everything right? Will their inaugural foray into the Champion of Champions be the first of many such campaigns? Or is this year just a flash in the pan? Let’s look at the evidence with the Surrey Column’s subjective & totally unscientific ‘Player Analysis’

Sam Shephard: Let’s start with the brains of the outfit. Captain Sam is a vastly experienced Surrey man who has masterminded the campaign, largely from the sidelines, which, from his one unimpressive appearance, could well be seen as inspired leadership! He used to play for Tim Stedman’s side, so it’s a masterpiece of darting espionage for Ditton to have secured his expert services … rather like getting Ronald MacDonald to turn out for Burger King!

Lionel Sams: Not much introduction needed for the World Champs Quarter Finalist, who hit a League record 24 maximum 180’s in 21 appearances, he certainly knows where the treble 20 is … now we just need to show him how chalk works!

Jason ‘JR’ Roberts: Silent but deadly; he doesn’t talk much, preferring to let his darts shout the odds. Rumoured to be having a real go at the PDC soon (professionals please note, you may want to print some “I Hate JR” bumper stickers in readiness).

Jimmy Mann: Current Surrey A Team player. He announced in the summer “Forget Beckham to Real Madrid, the more important transfer is me going to Ditton”. Irritatingly, he wasn’t far off the mark. Has won more than Beckham this year, despite being shorter, poorer & not at all fit!

Mark ‘Spike’ Harris: A solid performer, Spike has lost just the one game in 20 appearances, in the first week (in Ditton’s only defeat of the entire season). Another familiar face on the PDC circuit, he has said in the past that I don’t write enough good stuff about Ditton … will this help?

Graham ‘Lizard’ Miller: Following Dave Evans’ retirement from Super League, Graham is now the undisputed holder of the ‘longest tongue in Surrey’ Crown. He can throw a dart or three too, 15 wins out of 20 & some very important scalps amongst them.

Anthony Hopkins: Surrey’s 18 year old ‘boy wonder’ & no doubt future youth international. He’s featured regularly on these pages … has fingers like frozen chipolatas!

Tony Cartwright: A handy ‘supersub’, Tony came from the Ex-Service Club, Carshalton, in a two for one deal with son Anthony. A postman with a morbid fear of Rottweilers, unsurprisingly!

Keith ‘Barrier’ Holmes: Known as the Barrier because of his dogged refusal to lose. Has muscles that make Vinnie Jones look like Shirley Temple. If you DO beat him, you’d better have a darn good excuse!

Ronnie Stubbs: An advantageous by-product of playing at Ditton FC is that you get local boy Ronnie as part of the deal. Known as Marlboro Man because of his unfortunate surname, life’s never a drag with Ronnie, he never runs out of puff! Joint winner of the top checkout award with a smokin’ 167.

Mickey Eden: Mickey’s spent most of the season in the strange situation of being a County A player, but not being able to get into his Super League side! He’s played 7 times this campaign & is a superb player to have on the bench, especially with the 9-man Champions Cup on the horizon. A dedicated Man Utd fan … but then, nobody’s perfect!

So there you have the players that will be representing Surrey in the upcoming Champion of Champions, many of which will be unknown to those outside our fair County. However, this game is sometimes not about individuals, and the way that their teamwork has made such short work of such an incredibly competitive League such as ours leads me to believe that they will be a tough prospect, whomever they meet on the road to the Finals.

No-one predicted that they were going to win the Surrey Super League, but they romped away with the Title. Who’s to say that they can’t be equally as successful on a National level? One thing’s for sure, you won’t find ME betting anything against them!

Trouble With The Neighbours!

“Neighbours … Everybody needs good Neighbours!”, wails the Credits to that atrocious antipodean soap that defaces my TV every early evening. Those simple, sickly lyrics have, no doubt, a ring of truth about them, but when you’re from Surrey; your neighbours can get somewhat annoying after a while!

After barely surviving a battering from our friends to the North, London, last month, we then took a swift kick in the proverbials from our Southern neighbours, Sussex, as they fought tooth & nail for every point to almost extinguish our already faint promotion hopes.

Surrey took the spoils in Epsom over our South Coast opponents, but by the slimmest of margins, 19-17, which just meant that London, in 2nd place, were able to increase their buffer over us to 11 points & a massively superior leg difference.

There is still an outside chance of promotion, but judging by London’s treatment of us over the years, I doubt they’d even let us borrow a cup of sugar over the garden fence, let alone allow us to pick up 12 points on them!

With Sussex languishing in the bottom half of the table & fresh from a draw with bottom side Suffolk, it was hoped that we could forge a result to put ourselves back in the reckoning for a return to the Premier Division, but any hopes of that were dashed on the Saturday as Sussex came out fighting &, indeed, were unlucky not to have registered a win in either of the B matches.

In the Ladies B, it was Lady of the Match Tania Blake (16.21) who saved the draw for Surrey after ex-Surrey regular; Donna Askew had led her new side to within a leg of victory, taking the match award into the bargain.

The situation in the Mens B match was even more desperate, with Terry Dersley (22.75) & Kenny Winter (23.86) having to win the last two points to send us in level at the halfway point after Sussex had taken a 6-4 lead despite good work from Peter Arnold (25.91) & Man of the Match, Dave Norton (26.30), who, on his debut, made the graduation to the County stage seem effortless!

The Ladies A recorded what would turn out to be a crucial 4-2 win, including an incredible Lady of the Match display from Apylee Jones (26.37), as well as a fine performance from Chrissy Skehan (21.78) too.

It was then thanks to more dogged rearguard action from the Mens A that the weekend’s win was secured, but not until the very last leg as Gary Ledger (23.25) finally hit the double that sent the resilient Sussex side home on the losing side. However, the visitors had the spectacle of a superb 32.55 game from Bob Aldous to console them, whilst Gary Creamer (29.81) took yet another Match award with yet another Captain’s Game!

So it looks like Surrey will be competing in Division 1 again next year, with a visit to Sussex on the horizon, a match which will not be relished too much by the Surrey players after Sussex’s tenacity & determination in this encounter. However, it’s unlikely that neighbourly hostilities will be renewed with London next year as they look set for a return to the top flight, along with their ex-Surrey players Kerry Simmons, Clive Guest & Tricia Wright. Typical neighbours! Always borrowing your things & not giving them back!

England ‘Appy for Apylee

As you can see from Apylee Jones’ classy performance against Sussex, she is a Lady in immense form at the moment & she exhibited that form to devastating effect at the Home Internationals, held at the Normandy Hotel, Renfrew on 27th & 28th March.

Apylee played for England in both matches, winning 3-0 on the Saturday against Linda Rogers-Pickett of Wales with a 25.91 average, & then repeating the feat with another whitewash on the Sunday against Scotland, the victim this time being Janette Higgins, who couldn’t keep pace with Apylee’s 24.24 figure.

The next England International event is the Europe Cup in Finland & on the form that Apylee is showing, she must be firmly in the selectors’ minds for possible inclusion in the squad, but whether she makes the side or not, we at Surrey are very proud of her achievements & happy that she seems to be enjoying her darts so much at the moment.

Indeed, Surrey’s creaky, rickety Mens Team Manager, Keith Benson, whilst making the speeches after the Sussex match, commented that he wished he could include Apylee in the Mens A side, and I’m pretty sure she would relish the chance if it were possible! Indeed, from what I hear, rather than being consumed by nerves prior to her Home Internationals appearance, Apylee was more worried about how she would look in the red England trousers! Women, eh?