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Hangin’ Wiv Da Yoof

In everyone’s life, there will be that moment when you realise it’s no longer legitimate to class yourself as ‘young’ with any credibility. My particular moment came about 10 years ago, before a Wimbledon FC match at Selhurst Park, when I was studying the programme and noticed, for the first time, that almost all of the players I had come to see, were younger than me (Benson’s moment was at Agincourt).

I cried that afternoon. Not only were my faint hopes of one day being ‘discovered’ and recruited as a professional football player abruptly dashed, but there was also the terrifying ordeal of having to drive back through Croydon to come!

The bar is getting lower too. We’ve got 14 year olds diving in the Olympics, a 15 year old dancer, under a shower, giving the V sign to Gene Kelly in winning Britain’s Got Talent, and even national Party political leaders are expected to be in their early 40s nowadays - so that’s my career in Westminster up the swanee too. I blame Boris Becker. Since he won Wimbledon in 1985, aged 17, youngsters all over the world have increasingly lost their fear of experience in sport and are taking the proverbial.

Precociousness doesn’t care where it emerges, as Surrey darts has found to its benefit this season. Lauren Hitchens, 14, has already graduated through the Ladies B side in short order with a couple of LoMs under her belt, and now Kurtis Atkins (below left), 15, and Ryan Hitchens (below right), 18, have muscled in on the mens’ side of the equation with B team Man of the Match performances in successive Premier Division clashes.

Kurtis (26.25) landed his award in February’s 14-22 home loss to Hampshire, before putting up a creditable fight against former Welsh International Keirion Carter at the start of March in Surrey’s 18-18 draw with Glamorgan. The trip to Wales saw what will surely be the first of many such gongs for Ryan (28.34) too, as he employed two maximums and a 105 checkout to stun his more senior opponent.

Nothing short of a bashing round the head with Eileen Drewery’s bible would convince Glenn Hoddle, at the World Cup in 1998 regarding Michael Owen, that ‘if they’re good enough, they are old enough’. When he scored the goal of the tournament against the Argies, of course, the mantra was set in stone, and the Laurens, Kurtis’s and Ryans of this world are simply emphasizing that.

It’s a promising feature of a particularly gloomy season for Surrey, sitting as we do, 15 points adrift at the bottom of the Premier Division table with two to play. Whilst it is still possible that we could stage a miraculous recovery, the odds on the county avoiding a return to Division one are probably up there with Camilla winning Britain’s Next Top Model, or Croydon being voted European City of culture.

All an embattled Surrey can do is keep fighting to the last, and hoping for the best in upcoming fixtures against Essex and Kent. There are positives to be taken in recent months, most definitely. Lisa Munt is back to her best, with three Lady of the Match awards in as many appearances since dropping down to the Ladies B, and Steve Lovett’s (pictured) 31.98 in Wales was a welcome return to the imperious form that saw him become a feared opponent in national BDO circles. Laura Turner is still challenging Apylee Jones for top Surrey lady, and Ian Long, despite a rare loss against Glamorgan, looks to be on course for a Man of the Season award after his transfer from Middlesex.

It’s not over till the calorie-challenged person of the female gender warbles, as they say, so you never know. But no matter Surrey’s finishing position this season, it’s impossible to argue that the county hasn’t benefited from the experience of tussling with the best the BICC has to offer.

Meanwhile, considering the promise that we have seen in 2008/9, we’re on the lookout for some more youngsters. If you know of a 12 year old who unerringly lobs rubbish into the waste paper basket from around eight feet, please let us know. With the pound as deflated as it is right now, we can finally afford Benson’s pension.

Bald Ambition

March 22nd sees the staging of one of those darts marathon thingies that sap the energy and empty your wallets and purses for a worthy cause or two. Surrey’s home venue, Worcester Park British Legion, are providing the coffee and bandages as some of the usual suspects risk darter’s elbow by slinging the tungsten for an inordinate length of time.

Highlight of the day will be the on-site hair salon, set up exclusively for our England International, Apylee Jones, to be sponsored for her new hairdo. We understand that stylist Serge Scissor-Happy, of Worcester Park based poodle parlour Pedigree Chums, will be transforming Apylee into a Telly Savalas/Yul Brynner cross. We’ve always believed she was ’a cut above’, but this is ridiculous!

Obituary: Bob Barber

We were very sad to have to say goodbye to our county Chairman recently, as the much-loved Bob Barber passed away on the afternoon of 19th February, aged 56.

“Big Bob”, a former postman, was well-known in the Croydon and Dorking leagues before joining the Surrey County committee in the 90s. He was not only Surrey’s friendly face on the door for many county matches, but also our representative at national BDO Executive meetings, where his calm and genial nature was an asset to the county.

His passion for Surrey’s fortunes, his gentle sense of humour, and his willingness to help players in any way he could, made him a very popular character with everyone involved in Surrey darts and he will be very much missed.

150 people packed into Croydon Crematorium on Monday 2nd March to bid farewell to Bob, and there were also tributes left from the BDO, and the many friends he made in other counties through the years.

Bob leaves his mother Ivy, and brothers Raymond and Stephen. Goodbye Mr Chairman, Surrey darts won’t be the same without you.

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