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Kings (and Queens) of the Castle

We LOVE Lincolnshire, they are our mates!

If we at Surrey darts were able to dictate County Council policy, we’d be pushing for the erection of big signs around Guildford, Epsom & Esher publicly declaring how we prefer that part of our country be recognised, as opposed to Kleiner Baden Baden in Germany, Grenouille Ville in France, or any other such twinning location randomly chosen by the local councillors, presumably on the basis of the opportunities for yearly beanos paid for by your average council tax-payer.

We are ever grateful for Lincolnshire sausages, surely the King of the porky portion; we worship Lincolnshire for providing us with Grimsby, at whose altar we prostate ourselves every Friday night when we get our cod from the chippy. We melt our Southern hard hearts at the Lincs greeting of “Hello Duck” (pronounced dook), and wish that we were mad enough, like them, to have a county boundary as short as 19 metres like that which Lincolnshire shares with Northants (if only our border with London was so short, they are SO not posh there!).

Those born in Lincolnshire are apparently termed ‘Yellow Bellies’, but whether, when undressed, they appear to be extras in a Simpsons cartoon or not, we don’t care cos we love the place. We love that their darts venue is a bleedin’ castle! We love the fact that whenever we play there, the Saturday night hotel is always the highlight of the entire Inter-County season. We envy that they have a Butlins. Imagine that! In Skegness you can spend the day at Butlins, in Croydon you can be mugged in the Whitgift Centre … repeatedly!

Surrey are, and always have been, fans of the ‘yeller bellies’ and their unique part of England, but after a cracking 24-12 victory in November’s County match that puts us top of Division One, we are thinking of collectively booking up every room in Mrs Prunehat’s B&B overlooking the Humber next summer, just to emphasise it and say thank you.

The first sign that our teams were going to have an even more enjoyable time in Lincs than normal came with a 5-1 win for our Ladies B. Now, don’t shoot the messenger, but of the four elements in the Surrey County experience, the Ladies B have had the most trouble in making their mark in the past few seasons. Last year, for example, they won one but lost seven of their matches, so it was a thrilling start to the weekend as Lady of the Match Lisa Munt (20.88) took the first point, with a quality success by Billie Auzins (20.59) rounding off a victory that was no fluke for the Ladies, littered as it was with some classy averages.

The Mens B pushed the envelope that bit further with an 8-4 win that opened up an 8 point buffer for Surrey before the start of the Sunday matches. Richie Blake (pictured left, 28.36) earned another Man of the Match plaudit to remain unbeaten and thrust himself into second place in the Division One B averages, before Ray ‘The Bat’ Smith (24.24) and Dave Webb (24.29) also showed some good form to help us along.

It was therefore with a gladly heart and a skip in the step that Surrey retired to our accommodation and the requisite Skegness Saturday night karaoke (hey, even affluent Surrey-ites like to slum it occasionally!).

A quote from the Surrey web-site live text service on the morning of the A matches read: “Lots of sore heads this morning …” so it was probably not surprising that the Ladies A promptly trailed 0-4 in the early exchanges. First to buck the trend was Laura Power (who, as usual, hogged the microphone the night before with her strange habit of singing even Guns ‘n Roses songs in the style of Tammy Wynette). Apylee Jones gained Surrey’s second point in a 2-4 reverse, but it was Surrey’s country and western star Laura that landed the Lady of the Match award with a 3-0 defeat of Debra Royal complete with a not unimpressive average of 21.47.

Only four points needed for victory then as the Mens A took to the stage. However, considering the previous two Inter-County matches had seen the last 5 singles being lost to the opposition, it was important to get off to a brisk start … so a 1-3 scoreline after four matches wasn’t too welcome. The Surrey point was contributed by Aaron Turner (28.10) in an electric contest with Mick Capewell which earned Azza the Man of the Match, and was much preferable to his contribution to ‘Fairytale of New York’ the night before with his beau, Ms Power … think the late Mike Reid singing a duet with Dolly Parton and you wouldn’t be far from the truth.

It was then that the idea that Surrey were playing in a castle seemed to throw some magic dust amongst the A side and our players all turned into Prince Charming (or Grandad Charming in the case of Keith Benson), taking the final 8 points without reply, Benson (25.97) and Ronnie Godbeer (26.57) being the highlights.

There is one thing about Lincolnshire that is said to be rather nasty, and that is the wind whipping in from the North Sea. On this month’s showing, Surrey seem to find that very bracing, in fact, we seem to quite revel in it. Perhaps we could stand someone outside for the visit of Hertfordshire in Epsom in the next match, armed with a wind machine and a bathtub full of ice to throw a chill wind at the building. Any memories of Skegness have got to be good for our cause. After all, we love everything about Lincolnshire, they are our mates!

Julie, Jane & the Jewel Factory

The Surrey Youth sides began their campaign in October with a defeat against a strong Hampshire outfit. However, Julie Hopkins and the irrepressible Jane Johnson are moulding future gems out of a very young set of players following the passing out of some great Under 21s that have moved effortlessly into the Senior Surrey teams.

The youth players enjoyed a fantastic get-together at The Princess Royal in Croydon pre-season, where they were treated to a game of darts and a free Sunday Lunch by David Thomas, who selflessly organises a meat raffle each week to help finance our youngsters. His more-than-welcome support could well pay dividends too judging by superb displays by Kurtis Atkins (24.44) and Michael Shefford (22.27) in the Under 18 category. Our Girls side is equally talented, with 13 year old Lauren Hitchens, already with a Title to her name, raising eyebrows in the Ladies Super League and seeming to be one to watch for the future.

Surrey have historically prospered with a vibrant youth set-up and there is no reason to believe that the current crop can’t have the same influence on Surrey’s future. It’s all quite encouraging isn’t it?

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