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Surrey Unleash Reebok Storm But Lack The Thunder

It’s always raining in the North-West of England isn’t it?

Well, that’s the oft-repeated cliché about the western end of the M62. Do you remember those cheeky messieurs from the French Olympic bid team releasing a spoof video showing a rain-sodden, bleak and miserable landscape to rubbish Manchester’s claim for the 2000 games? They didn’t just pluck that idea out of the air you know, it is a stereotype cemented from decades of self-deprecatory jibes by northern comedians, from Eric Morecambe in the 70s to the present day Peter Kay, who have always reeled off gags that portray places such as Stockport & Salford as the antipathy of culture, cheer & good weather.

However, if, like me, you were travelling in a First Class (naturally) Virgin Trains carriage on the 12:05 from Euston as it passed serenely through a Greater Manchester bathed in glorious sunshine, you could be forgiven for thinking that surely someone is pulling our collective leg!

There was nothing dreary about Bolton that day either as we made our way to Horwich from the town centre, passing along picturesque avenues awash with greenery, behind which could be seen a procession of impressive homes that even Victoria Beckham would be seen dead in! Where were all the cobbled streets & rows of terraced housing that Corrie tells us is the staple of the area? Plus, not a single Jack Duckworth look-alike let alone evidence of a pigeon coop!

And then there was the Reebok Stadium, glimmering in the sunshiiiine (Manchester pronunciation according to Helen Chamberlain’s Soccer AM). No, there was certainly no gloom anywhere for this PDC event … apart, unfortunately, from the clouds that hovered depressingly over the Surrey contingent as if they had somehow been transformed into unlucky Looney Tunes cartoon characters!

There were early rays of light as Redhill’s Punch Taverns Qualifier, Richard “Jugs” McLaughlin, won both his matches on the Thursday to ensure Blue Square had to pay for another £140 night in the Holiday Inn for him. His victories, 8-1 over Kevin Harris, followed by an 8-4 success over Rick Andrews, took him through to the Friday & one game away from £1,000, but the very next match on Jugsy’s board saw the start of the heavens opening on Surrey-based players as Aaron Turner, beginning his game as Sky coverage ended, was overwhelmed 8-3 by Nicky Turner.

Jugsy returned on the Friday and was leading at 6-3 against Bob Crawley, but missing doubles to put him one leg away from the match seemed to sap his spirit and his opponent came back fiercely to take the tie 8-6. Dave Askew was next up, on stage board 2, but he also failed to make progress, going down disappointingly 8-2 to Dennis Smith.

Only Jimmy Mann remained, but despite a superb performance in a quality match, he also bowed out 11-8 to Wes Newton in the first Saturday clash on Board 8. So that was it for Surrey this year as, like an England cricket team … they were all out just after lunch, the most disappointing set of UK Open Finals results the county has suffered since the Bolton extravaganza was first staged. However, one weekend where it never rained but poured will, I’m sure, not deter players with such a sunny disposition as ours from attempting to come back stronger next year.

Our hopes for this year dashed, we left the Reebok deflated and disappointed and emerged into the blazing Lancashire sunshine to the strange sight of so many with soaking clothes due to the oppressive heat inside the venue. Maybe those northern comics were right … even on a fine day, it’s still possible that you can get drenched in the North-West!

Jugsy’s Film Fun

You may have seen the Sky coverage of the UK Open which opened on the Thursday with a trailer-cum-sketch set at the Wych Elm pub in Kingston-upon-Thames featuring, amongst others, the aforementioned Surrey player ‘Jugs’ McLaughlin.

Filmed on 6th June & taking 5 hours to record, it featured Jugsy, Ian Wise of Bucks & London’s Nicky Turner declaring that “The Red Lion haven’t turned up, anyone want a game?”, which was answered emphatically by Colin Lloyd, Alex Roy & Cliff Lazarenko striding into the pub accompanied by Sid Waddell!

Our much-loved County A player, with his wingnut-shaped head, coped admirably in his first ‘acting’ role and performed his two parts to perfection. The first was standing with his fellow Punch Tavern Qualifiers and gawping when they see the Pros turn up & it shows the professionalism of Sky that they must have told Jugsy about the day a long time ago … as he has quite plainly been practising that look at every County match for the past two years!

His only other task of the day was to act like a darts player … and no, I’m NOT doing that gag, it’s far too predictable.

A Kentish Mann or Mann of Kent?

Following his recent navigational difficulties in Germany (detailed here), it’s perhaps no wonder that Jimmy Mann passed up the opportunity to play in the Thialf Masters event in Holland and plumped instead for the Sheppey Classic V ran so ably by the Kent Isle’s answer to Barry Hearn, the amiable Tony Cox.

Jimmy justified his decision by reaching the Final and taking home £1,000, beating Wayne Mardle in the Semi & losing out to Andy Belton, who is now a two-time winner of this Competition.

By the way, insinuations that Jimmy only ended up at this event because he thought it was being held in Shepperton in Middlesex are totally unfounded (although highly amusing).

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