SURREY DARTS

by Martin Cullip 

As appearing in the April Issue of Dart World

Promotion Hopes Gone up in ‘The Smoke’?

If you’ve ever been interested in Philosophy (don’t all put your hands up at once!), you’ll have heard of the theory that Pleasure is almost invariably followed by Pain. An old English proverb succinctly encapsulates this idea by stating “To taste the Honey, you must bear the sting of the bees”.

Similarly, and to bring this proverb up to date, if you really enjoyed your Saturday night on the razzle, you have to be prepared with the alka-seltzer for the inevitable Sunday morning headache, not to mention making sure your fridge is stocked with bacon and sausages for preparing the obligatory hangover-busting fry-up!

Life is littered with such examples; if you really MUST have that Aston Martin DB9, you just KNOW that the bank will take your house when you can’t pay for it (hey, who cares? Sleep in the car, it’s probably got better air-conditioning anyway); and if you want to date a Spice Girl, you know that at some point or another, you’re going to have to listen to her music! Oh, the Horror!

In the Darts community, only Phil Taylor can claim to enjoy more pleasure than pain, but even HE will probably attest that losing the World Crown to John Part was a hugely painful blow, especially as the economic law of marginal utility (still with me?) rules that each successive World Title would have derived less pleasure than the one before … it must get SO tedious don’t you think?

The Pleasure/Pain principle is nowhere more evident than in Surrey’s Inter-County experiences in the last few years and is especially relevant as I write this, the day after a devastating defeat against rivals London at the Edge Snooker Centre in Bruce Grove, which put paid to the optimism engendered by a solid win against Suffolk in the previous match in Epsom.

It always seems that we under-perform against the team from ‘The Smoke’, and the result could mean our promotion hopes have gone up in said smoke, as we now sit in fourth place, a full six points from the promotion places. All this after having been joint leaders after the Suffolk match!

The 21-15 defeat of Suffolk was particularly pleasing, especially as three of the Surrey teams won, with only the Mens A unable to better their opponents, but still coming away with a useful 6-6 result.

The Ladies B registered a handy 4-2 victory, with Tania Blake (15.27) taking the Lady of the Match award with a win over the feisty Jean Prewitt. Why feisty? Well, just try calling over the microphone that it’s NORFOLK with the darts instead of Suffolk, as I did, and see what happens! It was a faux-pas of the highest order, I’ll admit, and one which should have resulted in a well-aimed tungsten giving me an unexpected ear-piercing; but the genial Jean was happy to leave it at a forceful rebuke before fighting out a well-contested match which Tania took to ensure the win for her team. Helen Cullip could well have made the margin larger if she had taken one of dozens of chances at the winning double, as she and her opponent, Sylvia Rogers, descended into darts ‘double one’ hell in the Final leg.

The Mens B kept well on course for the Divisional Title with a competent 7-5 victory thanks, in part, to good games from Paul Hollis (27.30) & Phil Smith (27.33), more about Phil later. It’s also worth mentioning Steve Cogger (20.59), who made his debut a winning one with a whitewash of the marvellously-named Stephen Balls, despite admitting to being nervous as a kitten beforehand … awww bless!

A four point buffer for Surrey needed to be defended stoutly by the A teams, as the visiting side battled determinedly all afternoon, but the Ladies A showed the class of which we have become accustomed from them to come back from 1-2 down in a match that the Suffolk Chairman described as “one of the best Ladies’ matches I’ve ever seen”.

Chrissy Skehan (21.38) was the best on the day & was forced to fight all the way against Wendy Harden, but what followed was pure drama as Apylee Jones (20.01) had to pull out back to back 140’s in the last leg to defeat the dogged Ann Daniel & Sharon Cullip (18.40) also had to dig deep to gain the win for Surrey, taking out a crucial 88 finish on the bullseye on the way to snatching the all-important final point.

So Surrey were just 4 points from victory & when the first three Mens A games went our way, including a second point of the weekend from Phil Smith (24.55), we were hoping for a cricket score! However, after Keith Benson (26.75) ensured the 3 bonus points, Suffolk staged a spirited comeback & only Gary Ledger (23.49) & Man of the Match ‘Rocket’ Jonny Stephenson (28.36) could find winning form.

So it was off to London for the March fixture, knowing that a decent result would stand us in good stead for the April run-in, but when Billy Idol sang “Hot in the City”, he could have been describing this match as London gave the Surrey side a real roasting … why do they always do that to US?

With the exception of Apylee Jones (23.48) & ‘Lady’ Russell (20.04), not a single Surrey player was able to win a point with a 3-0 scoreline, though many London players were able to do just that, resulting in a hugely one-sided leg difference, which could prove important come the end of the campaign.

The whole weekend might have been different if Surrey hadn’t suffered a string of morale-breaking 2-3 reverses on the Saturday, beginning with the Ladies B. Debbie Webb (13.07) had won on her debut to make the score 1-1, before Tania Blake, Charlie Webb & Helen Cullip all found the fifth leg ‘a leg too far’ in a 2-4 team defeat. Gill Shephard (16.26) was the only player to cope with the last gasp pressure & walked off with the Lady of the Match award as a result. ‘Shep’ is known for talking to her darts & it worked a treat here as, for once, they listened!

The Mens B were narrowly beaten 5-7 with Steve Lovett (23.86) just not hitting form when it was needed in the last match for the draw. Darren Everett (25.34) & Wayne Thurlow (24.49) also lost by the odd leg, whereas Man of the Match Andy Gillam (24.03) managed to keep his nerve well to finally announce that he’s got the hang of this County lark!

There was an uneasy feeling amongst the Surrey camp on the Sunday, especially as a cursory glance at the BDO tables showed that the Mens A were faced with the best team in the Division. A winning day was going to be difficult unless the Ladies could come out with one of their classic matches.

Unfortunately, our girls, so often the pride of our County in the last couple of seasons, were unable to hit top form & their 3-3 result didn’t ease the pressure on the Men, who, to help Surrey avoid defeat, needed an 8-4 win … as if it was ever going to be likely!

The hugely experienced Gary Creamer (27.56) played a Captain’s game to give Surrey hope with a first game win over the dangerous Paul Bedward & in so doing, took his umpteenth Man of the Match trophy (rumour has it he has enough crystal glass in his home now that he can’t get fire insurance in case the sun comes out!). Of course, with a team as accomplished as London’s A side, hope faded pretty rapidly after that, with only Roger ‘how on Earth did I win?’ Kitching (21.90) & Jimmy Mann (25.68) managing to add points for the away side.

So there you have it, the pleasure & pain of darts in two consecutive matches for Surrey. A 17th Century English Historian once said that “Pleasure is nothing else but the intermission of pain”; and after the last few years of relegation following promotion, of disappointment following enthusiasm, it would be nice if Surrey could, for once, follow bad times with good … let’s hope the pain of London is just the intermission & that matches of quality are just around the next corner. Heaven knows, we need as such if we’re to pick up the points & return to the Premier Division.

We want that Honey! Let’s just get a rolled-up copy of the Surrey Advertiser & swat those damn bees!

Crisp Smith’s Sunday Outing

As an intrepid investigative reporter (stop sniggering!), I have found that one of the locations that yields many interesting snippets of information is the loo on a match day! Err, the Gents, that is! (there is probably some great gossip to be heard in the Ladies, but there are depths to which I shall not stoop. Yes, really!)

I know it’s meant to be taboo for men to have a conversation whilst doing their business, but over the years, there has been many a gem that has emerged from such locker room banter.

One such discussion from 2 years ago has all of a sudden become very relevant after Phil Smith’s heroics against Suffolk. During the Saturday game at Yorkshire in 2002, myself, Phil & Team Manager Keith Benson were engaging in small talk in the lavvy, and I asked Phil if he was playing in the A team as he wasn’t wearing his team shirt. Smithy replied that he had been dropped from the team and went on to say “I’ve been playing for Surrey for 20 years & I’ve NEVER played an A team game”. Benson’s predictable response, coupled with his manic aged cackle, was “And you never WILL!”

However, it seems Benson’s crystal ball was on the blink that day as Phil put in a Man of the Match game last month that earned him a promotion for his first ever A team appearance, which he then went on to win, thus ensuring at least ONE more Sunday run-out.

Phil turns up for every match that the County play, whether he is involved or not, and is probably the most loyal player that Surrey has at its disposal at the moment, so there were many at the venue that were genuinely pleased for the bold & brash ‘Guildford Gob’. Defeat followed for Phil in London (as it did for many others), but it’s great to see such a dyed-in-the-wool Surrey man at the top level again after many a season flitting around on the edge of B team selection. Now if we could just find his volume knob & turn him down a bit …

Return to Youth

After a year without a youth side, it seems that Surrey are set to field a team in next season’s Youth Inter-County event thanks to the efforts of Carl Ramsey & a few other marvellous volunteers.

Running the Youth side is time-consuming & for the most part, thankless, so we are extremely grateful to Carl & his team for resurrecting an initiative that has produced so many bright prospects for Surrey over the years.

Trials are being held at Epsom Legion on Saturday March 20th & the interest shown by Surrey’s youngsters has been very encouraging. Of course, the hopefuls that will form the team will not have to look far for inspiration in their struggle to reach the County or Professional stage as current County B team player Anthony Hopkins is still only 18 & will figure in the youth plans for the coming season. Not a bad base for a side, eh?

Richie The Lionheart

After writing in last month’s issue about the Surrey-based players who are making a name for themselves in the PDC, it seems that the ink was barely dry before another rolled off the County’s production line in the form of Richie Blake.

A staple of the Surrey County team for years, Richie decided to try his hand at the Professional code & has already seen some good results, most notably a Quarter-Final place at the UK Open South West Regional Qualifier which has helped him to 40th place in the Order of Merit & a shoe-in for the Finals in Bolton.

Richie ‘Lionheart’ has been aided in his PDC Crusade by sponsorship from John Langan, the landlord of Croydon pub, the Golden Lion, for whom Ritchie plays in the Surrey Super League. John obviously has faith in the Addington player, as would anyone who has seen his performances on the County stage over the years. Good Luck Ritchie, let’s hope we see those trademark ‘Cross of St George’ flights on TV one day!