SURREY DARTS

January 2004 - by Martin Cullip 

Soaring Back to the Top Flight?

“Good Morning Ladies & Gentlemen, this is your Captain speaking. I’d like to welcome you aboard the Surrey Air flight to the British Inter-Counties Premier Division … well, that’s the intended destination, whether we get there or not is in the lap of the Gods really! Let’s just say that it’s looking good for the moment.”

“The crew that are attempting to get you to your destination shall be changing on a regular basis & shall be giving their utmost despite sometimes looking like they haven’t got a clue as to what they’re doing. I assure you that we pick only the best personnel for such a tricky task (well, the best once you discount the ones who have accepted more lucrative offers elsewhere, anyway!) & you are in competent hands, despite some of them looking a bit strange … and before you say it, Crew member Roger Kitching really IS supposed to look like that (God can be SO cruel don’t you think?)”

“We are currently cruising in a position that is threatening to give us a serious nosebleed, but please fasten your safety belts as we are expecting some turbulence ahead, especially around Cumbria & Buckinghamshire. However, it is our sincere hope that this won’t cause us to come crashing down like a Japanese Kamikaze & that we will arrive in the Premier by the end of April.”

“I must remind you that mobile phones must be switched off at all times & all offensive remarks about Crew Manager Benson, tempting as they are, must be kept to a minimum while he is performing his duties. You may experience some stress during the journey & your emergency exits are here; here; & here. Should you really feel the pressure, smoking is permitted in the toilets, but please bring your own Andrex in the case of Epsom Legion.”

“On behalf of Surrey, I would like to thank you for travelling with us & assure you that, although the Crew look like they’re slightly disorganized, desperate & needing help, that couldn’t be further from the truth … they are VERY disorganized, desperate & needing help!”

Well, well, well. I don’t think that those who flew up to Newcastle for the first of two Surrey Inter-County matches at the end of 2003 believed that we could still be challenging hard for the Division 1 Title, but Surrey players & supporters will be sitting down to their Christmas turkey safely tucked in behind the leaders Buckinghamshire after two recent solid performances.

Following several unfortunate & wearying incidents with coach travel for our County, almost half of the team decided not to risk the possible inconvenience & British Airways & EasyJet flights on the Saturday morning were peppered with Surrey darters ‘suffering’ one of the longest Inter-County journeys in style.

As Gatwick flight BA8082 landed at Newcastle airport, the crew even offered good luck wishes over the tannoy to “The Surrey Ladies Darts Team” much to the chagrin of John Skehan & myself … I thought I’d lost that particular tag once I stopped turning up to fancy dress parties as a Woolworth’s checkout girl!

With so many players arriving at the venue VERY early, well-fed & not at all fatigued, it was perhaps then no wonder that the Saturday produced a fine 6 point lead for Surrey following a draw for the Ladies B & a welcome 9-3 win for the Mens B. Strangely, though, the only member of the Ladies side that gambled on coach travel (all 8 hours of it) walked off with the Lady of the Match prize as Tania Blake (17.89) helped Surrey’s fortunes ‘take-off’ with a first point win over Angie Best.

Andy Gillam (25.99), the player whose first success in the County side was delayed longer than a Monarch flight to Magaluf, then took a deserved Man of the Match in the Mens B to follow on from the relief of finally breaking his duck in Norfolk … ‘Bigfoot’ is obviously like a fine wine, he travels well!

The Saturday night was spent as any ‘jet-set’ group would expect, in the Holiday Inn in Seaton Burn & when the dogfight resumed on the Sunday, the Ladies A cruised into ‘First Class’ mode to check-in with a comfortable 5-1 drubbing of their Northumberland counterparts. Apylee Jones (24.50) was as strong as ever, but it is testament to the fighting qualities of her opponent, Janet Marchant (20.24) that despite such a daunting average, Surrey’s star lady player only edged the Lady of the Match game with a 3-2 scoreline.

As we entered the Mens A match, Surrey’s flight of fancy was almost over the horizon with a huge 10 point cushion, but the weekend’s bonus points were only added in the 4th & 5th games as Paul Watson (26.16) & Man of the Match ‘Rocket’ Jon Stephenson (29.48) taxied the away side gingerly over the finish line. Keith Holmes (27.37) was the only other winner for Surrey, though, as our hosts put up stiff resistance to take the match 9-3 to keep the overall weekend score down to 20-16.

Surrey’s December opponents, Berkshire, have been a bit of a pain to Surrey in recent years! It is they who have dispatched the Surrey Champion of Champions side, Walton Snooker, in both of the past TWO seasons, one time with a severely humiliating 8-1 scoreline, and it looked like they were going to be our nemesis again as they soared to a 6 point lead on the Saturday night.

The Ladies B somehow managed to scramble a 3-3 draw thanks to the efforts of Angela ‘Angie Baby’ Frewin (16.60) who ended proceedings with a much-deserved Lady of the Match after a tense 5 leg game against the animated Berkshire player Kate Denton (15.95), but the Men were then simply taken apart by a Berkshire B team that consisted of many players who wouldn’t have looked out of place in the A team (never fear lads, you’ll be promoted again for the next match hehe).

Surrey’s resident ‘Sweaty Sock’ Darren Everett (23.12) made his debut for the County & despite admitting to being as nervous as a Scottish goalie facing the Germans before taking the stage; he whitewashed his opponent to start the weekend well for the home side. However, it was all downhill from there as only Man of the Match Jason Kelly (27.61) & Steve Lovett (23.15) could add points in a disappointing 3-9 result.

So it was that in a complete turnaround from the Northumberland match, Surrey were the ones looking at a 6 point deficit & hoping for a miracle to get them out of a particularly nasty hole. But if you’re looking for a miracle, look no further than our Ladies A side, who, after almost single-handedly keeping their County in the Premier Division last season, seem intent on dragging Surrey’s sorry backside back up to the top flight whether the Men like it or not! Their 6-0 victory over Berkshire’s best, following on as it does from the 5-1 success of the previous fixture puts them neck & neck with the strong Cumbria side, whom they will play in January in what is shaping up to be quite a mouth-watering fixture. Apylee Jones (22.43) again proved top of the pile with a Lady of the Match game, but she was only narrowly better than ‘Lady’ Martine Russell (21.25), who fought out a classic 5 leg encounter with the gutsy Sue Hincks (21.10).

The hosts couldn’t have dreamt of a better start to the Sunday & it just got better as by the time ex-Berkshire player Mary Tate left the building with a wink & the words “I’m off, cos you’re winning too many games!”, the Mens A had further punished the embattled visitors by opening up a 5-1 lead!

Jimmy Mann’s (27.32) Man of the Match game with William Foot (31.34) will be remembered for many a year as the two slugged it out toe-to-toe, slamming in FOUR 180’s in the process between them & it was only by virtue of the Surrey man holding the darts that he was able to subdue the big Berkshire player to the delight of the crowd, who were very familiar with Jimmy, playing as he does in the local Epsom leagues.

Berkshire then produced a spirited comeback & when Peter Arnold (22.51) let a 2 leg lead slip; Surrey believed the chance of victory had gone. However, a tremendous win for the man who wanders around the oche like he’s shopping at Tesco’s, Roger Kitching (25.84), put Surrey back in the driving seat & most believed Surrey Captain Gary Creamer (26.58) would seal the win. It was an incredibly dramatic finale for the entire weekend, but heart-breaking for Surrey followers as, after doing all the hard work, Gary missed 5 darts to win the match & Berkshire’s Gary Hawkins (27.08) duly took out 100 to earn his County a draw that perhaps, I suppose, at a push, to be fair, in the cold light of day, through gritted teeth, with no hint of bitterness (honest!), you could say they deserved … it still hurt though!

A quick look at the BDO web-site on the Monday was enough to perk up all but the heaviest of Hearts, though, as Surrey had retaken second spot with their sights firmly on leaders Buckinghamshire, albeit with an 8 point deficit to make up.

Imagine what a tremendous climax it could be for the Division 1 season if both counties were in the same position come their clash on the last fixture in April 2004? Cue the tannoy again “This is your Captain, we are making our approach on our return journey to the Premier Division, the atmosphere at our destination is just as it was when we left. Hot, oppressive & tougher than an Olympic wrestler! We’re glad you chose to join us for the ride & hope we won’t be making the trip back next year. Please leave everything as you found it & please don’t abuse the Crew members … that’s MY job!”

101 Not Out!

Following the exhiliarating Berkshire match (which was, incidentally, probably the best attended match on Surrey soil of recent years), one of the more influential Surrey players received quite a prestigious prize!

Keith Benson, the Addington based Mens Team Manager, celebrated reaching an incredible 101 & was rewarded with a Crystal Glass Decanter & glasses (in which to store his Sanatogen no doubt), tastefully presented on a Silver Salver. His arthritic hands graciously accepted his award on stage in front of an enthusiastic crowd before the local Dial-a-Ride came to pick him up after quite a tiring day for the old fella.

Unfortunately, Benson was unable to make it a winning day for his big moment as he went down 3-1 to Stephen Greene in an unusually lacklustre performance from the Surrey coffin-dodger, but it was no less an occasion for that when he picked up an award which doesn’t come close to reflecting the respect that we all have for him at Surrey.

Fortunately for our County, though, Keith seems to have no intention of giving up just yet & I’m sure that despite the haggard features & sad, world-weary eyes, Benson will be insisting on being wheeled into Epsom Legion by the Nurse for a few years to come & as long as he can still lift a Saga Holiday catalogue, I’m sure he’ll still be turning out for his County & putting in the same faultless effort that we have come to expect from the great man.

Oh dear, having just read that back to myself I think I may have misled you; The 101 refers to the number of Surrey appearances that Keith has made & NOT his age … he’s still a couple of years away from that figure! I apologise, any offence was purely intentional (Though I admit the picture could have added to the confusion!).

Making a Mountain from an Ant-hill

I must apologise for a glaring omission from the last Surrey Column as the exploits of young Anthony ‘Coldfinger’ Hopkins were sadly missing.

The youngster, who is now making regular appearances for the Surrey Mens B team & already has County wins under his belt, only turned 17 on the Saturday of the Berkshire match, but is already following the well-trodden path of other Surrey youth prospects Peter Manley, Dave Askew & Aaron Turner.

You may remember his being reported on these pages as a future star after giving Andy Jenkins a scare in Eastbourne, but his year has escalated since then & as well as becoming a very tough to beat Super League player with the current League leaders Ditton, he also narrowly missed out on a Boys World Masters Final appearance in October after losing in the Semis to Jeroen Verhoeven in a closely-contested 4-3 defeat.

This is a Title that Aaron Turner once won when a Surrey youngster & the excellent Anthony still has another year in the youth to do the same feat for our County. Considering the progress that he has made in the last year, I don’t think there are many in Surrey that would bet against him winning such a prize next time round.

With the securing of a new sponsor, there is talk of a resurrection of the Surrey youth set-up this year & Anthony is living proof that such initiatives are well worth pursuing for ANY County. If his learning curve can continue at such a pace next year, the sky’s the limit for the dedicated Tadworth lad … of course, he’s got to get over the trauma of the strippogram that his Mum laid on for him in front of the Surrey/Berkshire faithful first! Boy that belt-whipping must have hurt!